Saturday, May 02, 2015

eat eat eat with a little sleep and play

It's been an incredible and incredibly long day. You'd the think the world were going to end tomorrow from how much food we ate. Started at 530a. Got to sleep in a bit until 730a. We all got ready to go out to breakfast a little after 8a. Graham looked so sharp in his shawl collar, cable knit, ivory sweater. He started off wanting to be held at the diner, but quickly transitioned into sitting in the highchair and was completely fascinated by all the children around and constant action. The food was taking a while to come and I had to buy some time with a pouch since the puffs were growing old. He hated the first one which was a brand that I heard once had a hair in it. I tasted it and wouldn't want to eat it either -- it was dry, grainy and dryyyy! Blechhhhh! I pulled out another which I couldn't squeeze into his mouth fast enough and the food came shortly after. He sat in his plastic highchair like it was his throne, reclining after each bite we delivered to his mouth, with his arms and hands resting on the "armrests." My food came last and got sent right back. Corned beef hash is NOT just little tiny cut up pieces of boiled corned beef. Nuh uh. No way, sir! I got a gross plain old omelette, with fake cheese "food" instead as a poor attempt to console my desires. It came when everyone else was already pretty much done and Graham was letting out his 1st embarrassing single (thank god) scream for attention to get out of his chair. For a moment, we were "those people" with "that kind of baby." We all just looked at each other when it happened and had an embarrassed look on our faces. Mom took him out and went to walk around with him until we were leaving. The king had spoken; he was full and ready to leave! I was sure he'd fall asleep on the quick ride home, but he stayed just barely awake enough to be carried in. The next hour was awful. I did everything right. I went in quietly first, held him close for a minute or so till he was sleepy (even more so than in the car) and set him down slowly. I stayed a minute til he was calm but sat up and started playing with teddy. I left and went back in 2 more times over the next half time just to rock and the other to change a super dirty diaper. By the end of the change, he was smiley and chatty but also yawning. I left him slowly again but the screaming started as soon as I turned to leave. I showered and Andrea went in to get him 15 minutes later. It was time to give up. I did my hair and an hour later, after I'd left his room, I went downstairs to find out he'd been sleeping for half an hour already! She did the same things I did but was a piece of cake for her! Grrrr! Just before we left for Dave's birthday bbq, he woke up, and with a big handprint on his face from sleeping on it.

He gets those imprints a lot, but this one was a masterpiece!. My southwestern salad was made, I was ready and feeling pretty, my baby was rested, fed and happy and taken care of by 2 people I couldn't trust more with the most precious thing in my life. It felt so good to be out with David and in the middle of the day too! We were both exhausted and still had a full day ahead of us though... but all in good fun and company! The bbq was great and so nice to be baby free for a change. Everyone was so sweet and wished we'd brought Graham, but understood our choice for freedom. Gosh, using the word freedom makes us sound like prisoners; but that just isn't so, of course!! It was freedom; only meaning our arms were free, our backs were free, we were free to do as we pleased and when we pleased. We had such a great time being adults and having as little baby talk as we could. The food was my main focus after tasting the slow cooked brisket and pork shoulder. I never knew either cut of meat to taste anything like this, and now I wonder how I'll ever eat it any other way ever again. Just WOW! We stayed longer than we thought we'd get to, but we eventually had to go to host our own bbq for our parents! Papa turned 63 three days ago, and our parents haven't seen each other in so long. It was going to be a small but lovely celebration. DM and I tried to convince one another to drive home so we could nap. Guess who won? I didn't even end up sleeping though. Graham was so happy when we got home and laughed all night until bedtime. Mom had prepped all of the veggies and everything was ready to go on the grill. I couldn't wait to get my hands on him and neither could DM. We actually fought over who got to take him from grandma!! He won, but ultimately, G chose me -- HAH! Just kidding. We went up to his room and mom was spinning around on the floor on her hands and knees to show me what they'd been up to. Graham was hysterically laughing! It was nothing, yet the funniest thing ever to him!! She showed me, and G proved to me that he really can find and point to the red balloon in "Goodnight Moon" all on his own when you ask him where it is. All of those days and night after night of reading that book and assistance from his grandma and he is showing off yet another new skill. He's incredible!! She gave him dinner so I could pump out all of those blessed hours of freedom. I wanted to get pictures of him in the bath with the bubbles, so we did a quick photoshoot.

He was so cute when he got a little water in his eye and fluttered his eye lashes and blinked so fast. He just makes the cutest faces and I can't capture close to half of them! It ended on a sour note when he got upset from mom pouring a little too much water over his head and into his mouth. It was very dramatic, but as soon as we got into his room and laid him down to get dressed, he was smiling and laughing again! Papa and mum walked in right as we got him out of the bath and he was anxious to get his hands on G! I brought him down for a few minutes and then sent papa up with the bottle to give to G quietly in his room. I stayed with them for a few minutes and prepped him for a couple of bumpy scenarios he may encounter while feeding him: he may fall asleep and you have to keep him awake but not too awake, just merely awake enough to drink...he may be wide awake and start throwing his bottle on the floor and want to go down to play with his toys...or he may drink it perfectly but be wide awake when it's time to go down....but the only rule is -- he must finish his bottle!!! I left when I became nothing more than a distraction and left them to it on their own. I offered to take over, but he seemed confident and willing to overcome the little hurdles.

He is always so good with him and figured it out fast. He never gets frazzled by his cries or fusses. He's just got that special way with him and ability to figure it out. I sat in my room, spying on the monitor and watched a beautiful memory in the making. He read to him, told him stories, played "this little piggy," sang to him and sat quietly. He did everything so right and read all of G's cues perfectly. I went down to join everyone else once I saw that he had it all under control. A few minutes later, he came down with the empty bottle and the only sound that came from upstairs was the stairs creaking from him walking down. Graham was sound asleep!!! Soon after, I set the table and we all had a feast. I thought I wouldn't eat much but ate everything instead! Piggie! It was a great little party and everything worked out so perfectly, down to the pecan pie I made for papa. I went upstairs towards the end of the night and noticed that he'd never closed G's door all of the way, but he slept through everything! I closed it gently. I cleaned up everything except desert and my body was shutting down for the night. I got to lay with papa on the couch for a few minutes until I almost fell asleep. They left close to 11p and I had to pump. I got even less than usual, but didn't have the strength to stress about it. I put it away in the fridge and went right to sleep. Like clockwork, my head went down, my eyes were closing, my mind was drifting away and BOOM! -- Graham started crying!! Seems to happen a little too often, and often enough that now I am dread putting my head down. Most nights, it's just a little cry of him repositioning. But tonight wasn't! He kept crying and it got harder and harder. How does the timing work like that. Does he honestly know that I am going to sleep??? DM went in like a hero and soothed him for a while, but it didn't seem to help once he left again. He gave him some meds (not sure which kind) and even ended up giving him a small bottle. I really hope when he starts talking and communicating on our level, this all gets a little easier. Though I know then, only new problems and struggles will arise. I'm not sure how long the whole thing went on, but no one was happy and we all needed the sleep. Eventually he went back to sleep and it was just a bitter memory. In the end, there were too many good memories and too much yummy food eaten to hang onto this meaningless moment. I think Graham would rather eat than sleep anyday!

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