Thursday, May 28, 2015

the moment I've been waiting for!! *unedited - beware of the typos*

People are starting to ask what to get G for his first birthday and I have no answers!! I feel like he has everything and more, from onesies to toys, a tent, clothes, chalkboard, books, etc. I am at a loss!!

My legs have been hurting really bad for a few days and today I realized it's mostly in my knees. It's so painful to move and it's the worst when I stand up, especially from the floor. I'm not sure what to do but it's only getting worse. I still haven't been to the gym since I hurt my neck two weeks ago and now I don't know when I'll go back with this new pain.

He woke up BEFORE 5a and had wet himself again. That's happened a few times now and it's a disaster. He is so hungry and has to go through hell because DM has to change him before bringing him to me. He was fine once it was over though and I was not. I feel like instead of adapting and waking up earlier with him, I am just getting worse and less coherent every morning. I'm also dozing off a bit when I put him down on the floor to play. He's not yet showing any signs of understanding that he has to go down backwards. After three episodes of Mickey and him not even really watching, he started getting into trouble near DM's night table and all of the wires and dirty socks. I threw myself out of bed. I tried to talk myself into going to the market early, but the morning got away from us. I always underestimate how much time all the little things take. I gave him oatmeal "quickly," got us dressed "quickly," and took Charlie for a "quick" walk. Before I knew it, it was 5 to 9a and he was yawning. I questioned my decision to go at that point, but fear of what he might be like wasn't going to stop me! He fell asleep in the car and I knew he would, but he woke up fine. All f the ladies were flirting with him and turning heads just comes naturally to him. One older woman shopping kept bumping into us and she just loved him! She went to touch his arm but I moved the cart a little and she apologized. I'm not sure why, but I actually felt bad! I bought him $1.87 worth of wild caught salmon today because I hate that he hated it last time. I will try it tomorrow! The first two times it was made the same way!! It was just with lemon juice, parsley, tomato, s&p and maybe garlic, but it was just the fish by itself he hated. The only real difference was the first time I got wild caught and the second time was farm raised. Maybe he has high end taste buds!! He was smiling all the way, crinkling the plastic wrapped head of cauliflower, "oooh-ing" when I reached for the nanas to put in the cart scared that he'd cry to eat them but he didn't, banging on the yogurt container like a drum, swinging his legs and just being perfect. I tried so hart to restrain from buying unnecessary things and ended up in line right behind that old lady once again. He won over the attention from the cashier, girl bagging the groceries and other girls working. What am I going to do with the 70 cents worth of fiddlehead ferns I bought? I don't know! But we'll figure out something! Graham was asking nicely to be held while we were checking out and it ended up taking a little longer anyway. Eternally grateful for the help getting my bags in the car and we were on our way in no time. We got home by 10a and instead of rushing to put him down and watching the clock too much, I put most of the food away. He was having fun playing with all of the paper bags and releasing any leftover energy he had. I took him up to nurse and he went right to sleep for 2.5 hours! I got to eat, talk to Andrea and watch tv and nap for about an hour before he woke up!! We both woke up pretty groggy and laid in bed for a bit after I nursed him. It was so late and I needed to get to my boss' before 2p. Always rushing, I got him changed, his food packed up and took Charlie out to pee. On the drive there, I kept seeing him play with something on his arm but couldn't see anything. When I got him out of the car, I noticed it was one of my long hairs! It was the moment I've been waiting for!!!! He can see something as small as a hair. After countless tourniquets around his fingers and toes, he is aware of the hair and can get it off! I always wondered after every traumatizing hair got painfully wrapped around a digit, when he would be able to see it and communicate what was wrong. It was loosely laying over his arm this time, but he found it! Everyone except Lauren left early with the dogs since it was so hot. But Graham was making his cute "oooooh" sound for the 3 dogs that were there. I fed him lunch and he was thrilled to have an audience. Michael was making animal noises and the dogs were waiting for food to fall. Lauren left to take a dog home while I finished feeding him which was all G cared about. Food! I dragged him to two nurseries before going home, but he ended up enjoying both. The heat and humidity melted us together and the sweat was flowing. He looked adorable in his chambray sun hat and I was twiddling my fingers deciding what and what not to buy. He didn't want to touch or smell anything that I put up to him but was reaching out for everything else, running his fingers through the ornamental grasses, playing with my keys and looking around. The first place had a cart for him to sit in and we went into the greenhouse just to take a few photos of him with all of the annuals.


He fell in love with the cashier. I can't tell what draws him to certain people at all but he was fascinated and practically laughing at this girl...even when she was ringing up another customer 20 feet away and not paying any attention to him. He was swinging his legs, swaying side to side, smiling, sticking out his tongue and scrunching his face. I kept turning around to see if she was making silly faces and she was very busy with the other customer!! It was hilarious! Or MAYBE he was delirious from the heat! :O As if that stop wasn't enough, we went to my favorite nursery a couple of minutes away to see what they had, new or rare. I wanted so much and really held back. We left with just a couple of small things, everything from today is for the rock. Graham left with another compliment and he was wiped out. I nursed him and set him in his carseat, but he never fell asleep. It looked like he was playing with more of my hair, but he was quiet and happy and that's all that mattered. We got caught in a little sun shower while I was moving the plants to the backyard. At first, the few drops didn't bother him, but then it started coming down harder and he wasn't happy about it. Once we got in the garage and he could just see the rain, he found it interesting. He's been demanding water all day today and pointing to it wherever he sees a glass around the house or when I am drinking it. Drinking from a cup and partially spilling everywhere when he doesn't swallow it all and insists on my tilting the glass too far seems like the only way to go. He refuses to tilt the bottle back himself and when nothing comes out of the straw he just gets frustrated. I've seen him suck enough for the water to start coming up in the straw but then he stops. I wanted to go up and lie down with him but he was wide awake and not interested in napping with me. He only nursed a little since I just fed him in the car before heading home and then we video chatted with Andrea. He was so happy to see her face and hear her voice. Even CB came running in the room when he heard her! She blew him a kiss and after that he kept leaning into the phone to kiss her! Priceless!!!! He was waving hello in the way he does it with a stiff arm and moves his entire torso. He was getting a kick out of her playing peekaboo behind her hair and quickly lost interest in the conversation after that and just wanted to get down off of the bed. We opened up all of the boxes that came, went on the deck for a few until I ran out of water and he was upset that I wouldn't let him play with the glass cup! He had lifted the entire cup full of water off of the table when I turned my head for a second and then spilled it everywhere. Luckily those mason jars don't break easily. He was starting to get a little fussy so stood with him, watching the sprinklers and birds hop around and then I took him down to look at all of the plants. Lucky for him the rain started again and I had to stop picking those little weeds which he was not in the mood for! We played with his toys for a bit and sat on the floor on opposite ends of the ottoman. I was trying to lure him over with the hugging, talking elmo Sharon passed down to him but he was just eyeing me from across the room and being happily, fully amused from where he was.


Finally he came over and it he couldn't figure out where to look when all of his toys started talking, singing and playing music at once. I got his dinner ready and held him so he could watch. I've learned quickly into all of this to hold him and accept that he just is curious and wants to see what I am doing! His leftover chicken and pasta from last night would have bombed if I hadn't made him the sweet potato! As a treat I let him stuff his face with nana while I did the dishes and he bit into a whole strawberry and at it in like 3 bites. The first time he bit into one, he took the tiniest bite and now that he's got the idea, he just goes for it all the way!!! DM was having a bad day and had to stay late. I wanted to get him up to bed early since he's been going to bed at 8p the past few nights. He was exhausted, so I changed his sheets, nursed him, read him half of "goodnight moon," let him play a couple of minutes flipping through his books while I spoke to DM and then read him "the very hungry caterpillar" and put him to bed.


He was asleep after just a minute and didn't have the energy to cry longer! DM and I have just been taking him around his room saying goodnight to everything as a wind down and it seems to be working. He points to things after I show him and he's so engaged in everything we do together. I do enjoy every moment (that he isn't screaming, which isn't even often) and they're all the moments I've been waiting for. They're all special and so precious to me.

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