Wednesday, May 11, 2016

imaginitive insight

It's been almost a year and now G is turning 2. They weren't lyin' when they said it just gets better and better. This stage of his life is more incredible than I ever could have imagined in my wildest dreams. Every new word that comes out of his mouth gives me butterflies, his facial expressions make me giddy, and his affection makes me melt. When he puts his head on my chest, wraps his arms around me so so tight and says "I yuh you," I die every time. I've stopped keeping a list of his new words because there are at least 5 new ones each day; and they're not from repetition anymore either -- he just says them out of nowhere! Today, just walking through the Lifetime parking lot he kept saying and looking for "rocks."

Two days ago, driving away from the gym with the music on, I could hear him saying something in the background so I lowered the music. I looked in my rearview mirror and he had his hand to his ear saying, "hi. what's up? ... I'm on the phone!" and all with the biggest smirk on his face. To date that was the wittiest thing he's said.

This morning, sitting at my desk and coloring, he spotted his baby book (which, yes, I am STILL working on!) and very excitedly demanded that I show him. I read him each page with lots of enthusiasm and he sat there with the most gleeful smile and eye brows raised as high as they could go, nodding in agreeance to everything I was saying.

To say the least, Graham is a character and anyone who knows him, knows he loves to joke around! Of course, he is developing with all the other bells and whistles that come with toddlerhood too -- the tantrums, the demands, the frustrations, the overtired hyperness, the crankiness, the pickiness, the indecisiveness, etc. But all of that set aside, now that I've just about mastered letting it slide right off my back, he is just an absolute joy and love. He's lucky to have more friends than I've ever had in my lifetime and a family who couldn't possibly love him more.

The scariest thing, is knowingly changing what is so perfect as it is. We want to have another child in the future, and yeah yeah, I know I knowwwww that mothers have endless love for their children and you find the balance and time, blah blah blah...but part of me is dreading not having him to myself and having to spread myself a little thinner. So in the end, I do what I do best, and just do things without thinking too much into them. After all, if you wanna have a big family, it is what it is and everyone adjusts. But like most, I am just really pretty basically terrified! I'm not worried about having enough love. It's just the time, those special moments, one on one, just me and him.

Since I hate that all of these months have passed without writing, and my very good friend has started her own blog called this purple life of mine, I'm inspired to start mine up again. I always say, if it isn't documented, it's as bad as it never happening. It won't be as detailed with daily minutes with what we ate, where we breathed in air and every little move we make. But I'd love to document the really funny, good good times and maybe occasionally the tough times if I think they're worthy of remembering. Like all new mothers, I'm working on finding me again and doing what I love most. Some things are more easily accomplished than others. My greatest joys are gardening, cooking and baking, photojournalism, traveling and home decorating. Since G isn't a little baby anymore (wah :( ), I'd love to write a little more about me as well and remember the fun I have doing what I love whenever I can find that precious time to do it -- and boy is time precious! Motherhood will teach you a lot of lessons, but time is a big one! I'll be sharing lots of photos too (as if people don't get enough already!)

Last thought from a little earlier -- do you ever get a glimpse of another life being lived and then immediately feel like you can tell a whole story (whether true or not) from that one second? It happens to me all the time and I'm wondering if it's just part of my wild imagination. I was driving home on the sunniest, warmest day we've had this year and looked to the left to see a very old, little, hunched-back lady gardening in her front yard. I believe she was using a big shovel or rake and she was standing up as tall as she could, gazing out and taking a break. Immediately, I started imagining me at that age. She looked as though she has a few children, all healthy and grown and her job was somewhat "done." Not to say all women are mothers and that mothering is their job, but it's just where my mind went. I just got sad to think that my little sweet, whining, crying toddler -- who is pissed off because he doesn't want the cereal to be mixed in the bag with his raisins and dried cranberries -- will one day be all grown up, moved away, living his life and I will just be left old and wise with my garden with all the hours in the day to myself. God, now I'm crying. How typical. Anyway, I have these thoughts about parents with older children of any age (5 years to 60 years old) all of the time. I think of how the look at my with that longing look for yesteryear when their children were G's age. I imagine that they are thinking, "she has no idea how fast this time goes." I tell myself constantly, throughout every day, whatever I imagine more experienced parents are thinking. I've probably lost anyone reading at this point, but it makes sense to me. Let me know if I'm not alone afterall! <3

everything is a photo op.



one of our many adventurous days...
those string lights and 4x4 post are one of our many projects this season.
that'll be another entry on its own!
his weirdest quirk: playing with his belly button for comfort.
at least it goes with him wherever he goes!
     
omg!!! just found photos of the last time he was >here<!
     
my heart skipped a beat as I caught the stroller from tipping backwards the second after I took this. 


every mother's day...
hate how I look, but how could I not share these moments??
he loved when I made it snow!
     
they're finally bonding more. (this area of our house is begging to be finished!)

3 comments:

  1. Those mothers day pics are adorable!! Let me know next time you're in Bryant Park, it's right by my office :)

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    1. thank you cuz!!! i cannot believe i didn't know that, even though i am SURE you must've told me a million times --i definitely will! this was a v. spur of the moment trip in. :)

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  2. It's easy to get caught up with being exhausted every day and taking things for granted. Reading about your experiences and adventures through motherhood, the good and bad, reminds me how beautiful this journey is and how lucky we are to have the joy of these little boys. Thank you for sharing. :)

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